Apollo 15 just landed on the moon, Elvis Presley is found dead, the mobile phone is invented. The 70’s were a crazy time and the diets matched this energy.
More crazy energy is the fact that COVID-19 shut down Auckland for Lockdown 2.0. What better way to kill some time at home than to follow the crazy wine and egg diet for 3 days, am I right?
I shopped confidently for my 3 bottles of wine, a large carton of eggs and a couple of rump steaks on Tuesday night – blissfully unaware of what this diet will do to me. I had read a few articles of people trying the diet and they seemed to be overly dramatic story tellers that knew how to please their boss at Cosmopolitan Magazine in the USA. I was stronger – mentally and physically. I knew I could do this.
Wednesday morning came along and I was excited. Excited and hungry. I weighed myself and thought yea lets get this. I cooked my eggs to perfection, made the perfect americano and poured a generous serving of wine*. My first bite of eggs was nice, its just egg right? The swig of wine changed that though. Wine and eggs do not go together. Wine and coffee do not go together. But don’t worry, I didn’t make this mistake again.
*Now I will confess that I didn’t follow the diet precisely due to the fact that I HATE boiled eggs and there is a tasty rosé that happens to be 3 for $30 whenever I go to buy wine…
The morning went pretty slowly, I was sat in front of my laptop “working”, swiping tinder and sipping slowly through my 2 lovely drinks. My second lesson of the morning was that the americano isn’t great when its room temp or slightly cold. The wine went down easy enough though.
Before I knew it, it was time to eat lunch. 2 eggs felt like a treat! I drank the coffee while it was hot and struggled through the wine. By time 4 o’clock came along I no longer had to stare at my computer and this is when it got a bit harder. I began thinking of all the food I’d normally be eating. To stop this I decided to go on a 10km walk. I knew my 150 grams of steak would be waiting for me at the end.
The steak was good, the wine was getting harder but I did it and I skipped the coffee… I just couldn’t think about sculling another poo poo juice. Sleep was just what I needed after a big day of undergoing a science experiment.
Day 2. Thursday, the day that used to be my favourite day ever. I started the day on the scales. I had lost 2.5 kgs! I stood there thinking “wow, this diet is wicked. I could keep this up and be the skinny legend I want to be” ……
Each bite and sip was much harder. It didn’t want to go down and I kept the coffee intake to 1 cup. By 5 o’clock I was knackered. Let’s just say it was a long day but it got worse. I didn’t sleep. I was up all night thinking about food, life and every conversation I had ever had. YIKES.
Friday morning finally came along and this was supposed to be the last day. I weighed myself and had lost another kg, 3.5 kgs in total. I had exceeded the diet plan and thought right thats it, I’ve had enough.
I quit then and there and ate some muesli and yoghurt and had coconut milk in my coffee. I’ve never felt so free.
In conclusion, the diet works but it sucks. I started to dread drinking my favourite wine and eggs just don’t cut it for someone that eats chocolate every day.
Try it, or don’t but please be prepared for the weight to come straight back. I’ve eaten relatively healthy since I stopped this crash diet and I am right back to where I started.
